Kerr’s Universe

Well, there is indeed a lot of things that I should be blogging about even before I come to this, but as usual, my procrastination self have prevented their penning. In fact, I have to blog about stuffs to confirm my actual participation in CLDDS during my 2 years stint in NJC back then. Then, there’s salsa performance practice, Jimmy & Rachael’s competition practice, the performance last saturday, and a couple of other things that I have said I wanted to blog, but I have totally forgotten about it by now. Well, since I’am in such a conversant mood currently (in terms of msning), I shall divert some of that energy and at least finish one blog for this week.

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Just went to a salsa party earlier, house party in fact. Pretty refreshing and I seriously like the setting. I have always like such parties in a comfy house setting, perhaps due to the influence of western films and drama. But well, it turn out that social dancing can really be very fun. Or at least, up to this point in time, after having dance salsa for nearly 1/1/2 years by now, I still can’t exactly say that i’am enjoying myself everytime that I dance, or should I say, there are even times when I feel frustrated, demoralised, stressed up, angry, dejected and sad to the point that I wonder whether I should continue in it.

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Have been having numerous conversations with Jimmy and Rachael as well as many other salsa friends of mine over this matter, and especially during this period, due to the increase in frequency of meeting them (to train for the performance).

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As far as I’am concerned, I feel that I have reached a plateau in my social dancing though I did break some grounds months back. It was indeed a good break back then and it did spur me on to strive for greater heights, but at the moment, I’am stuck once again. The plateau this time round is even flatter and probably more difficult to conquer as the inherent problem is my lack of creativity in the dance and the unability to dance to the music. Indeed, the lack of creativity has always been something that is always on the back of my mind and something that I would always be very conscious about while dancing. Definitely not something that you would like to have at the back of your mind while you are dancing as it is not exactly or rather, it is NOT a good feeling at all. And of course, it definitely not making the current situation easy for me.

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Lack of creativity leads to stale moves and inability to generate new moves or even to permutate existing moves into seemingly new moves and I guess I’am one who feels bored easily and definitely one who doesn’t like to see people around me bored. Thus, its a double kill for me as stale moves executed by me, not only make myself feel bored, but also makes the gal that i’am dancing with feel bored. Of course, there are encouraging times, but when you are holding someone and you are in the "bored" mood, it would definitely be transmitted to your partner in one way or other, thus affecting the other mood into a more "bored" one. Even if she was not feeling bored initially, my boredom would soon rubbed on to her and she will definitely feel it and start exhibiting it and that, would have an adverse effect on me and the whole vicious cycle start feeding itself and it would just getting bigger and bigger.

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So, that’s problem one. Problem two, being the inability to listen  and dance to the music. Have you ever wonder why it feels so good to go cheonging and dance. (No offence for those who go there to pick up gals, but seriously, i’am always there to dance.) Simply becos i’am dancing to the music, accenting and flowing together with the changing in beats, be it disco, Pop, techno, trance, house etc. Yesh, there isn’t a fixed step and its more like just stepping here and there, but it feels good when you are moving in sync with the rythmn, doesn’t it? That’s the most impt thing when you are dancing…well, at least socially. That’s why I always feel relax after cheonging…the releasing of energy…the expression of the self, that’s the most impt aspect of dancing…just like playing the piano - Self expression. In short, I’am not getting that kind of feeling with salsa and thus…all the frustration.

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Problem one and problem two combined together, isn’t a beautiful sight, definitely not. The reason for being too conscious about oneself is definitely visible and the reason for that happening is becos i’am simply not enjoying myself and not going into a state of euphoria that dancing and other music playing is supposed to offer.

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Well, now is not the time to sulk anymore. If I seriously want to continue with salsa, the above 2 problem must be solved, else, I might as well give it up and try my luck else where. So, since, i’am not in anyway thinking of giving it up at the moment, I might as well channel my energy in solving the problems.

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Someone asked me tonight how well I would want to become. I guess the yardstick for me is simply, to improve to the point where I can enjoy every dance that I do and to make every person who dance with me enjoy that very dance as well. Its definitely a reachable goal as I am already starting to enjoy every bachiata dance that I do from a state where I totally couldn’t move with that music. This is something that I will start working towards and I believe I have a couple of good friends who can aid me along the way, isn’t that so, Jimmy?

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Don’t wonder, believe….don’t try…do it.

This entry was posted on Saturday, October 29th, 2005 at 2:34 pm and is filed under Weblogs. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.