Changes in the year
Wouldn’t exactly say time flies, but one year has indeed gone by, just like that for this year. Its already November now and as per previous years, the time to chart the direction for the upcoming year and to plan for the parties and gatherings with the numerous festives down the road in December.
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Was going through the various emails and realised I hasn’t being in contact with my frens much this years and its really hard to search out an email with all the friends from one clique. In the end, I had to scrawl through the past emails and started reading some of them.
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Of course, I couldn’t help by notice a past which I had tried so many times and sadly, in vain to put behind me for many a times this year and indeed, that episode pretty much marked the up and downs for the entire year. Through the emails, its so amazing that so much can change in the short span of one year. From a long time friend, we have become so much closer towards the end of last year (probably due to the increase number of outings and movies) and things were really looking up. Looking back, the happiest time I had was probably from November 2004 - March 2005, then things started to go awry, as I decided that your love is more important than the friendship. It was a huge risk to take, but I guess I had made it even worse with a few other lousy decisions that somehow stem from a character flaw and of course, you and I both the ending now.
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Well, I’am just amazed at how fast changes can happened and how drastic it can change. Not blaming anyone, as I alone has made that decision. On hindsight, it has been errorneous, indeed, but who would have known and who would have thought about it.
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Its probably the change in season that has led to the outburst of emotions as I could kept it under wraps pretty well for the past half a year. Okay, perhaps not very very well, but I have tried and that probably explain some of my weird actions, reactions, choice of words or behaviour throughout this period. I guess I just haven’t totally let it go yet. Nonetheless, since you have already put it behind you, as a guy, (and one pretty egoistic one), I definitely cannot lose out to you and I must take it in stride. But before that day comes, I’am still very much in love with you and yesh, should the opportunity comes for me to voice it out once more, I would not hesitate to say to you, "I love you"
